And so it goes, then. We're all on our way out, from a place that was never really home and enemies that never really made that much sense to begin with. I don't know if I really have words to describe this place anymore. It was all such a fucked up time, good and bad, so its stupid to think reminiscing will do any good. People came and went, and if my little delusion taught me anything, its that nothing is permanent. Life goes before you know it and soon you're worm food somewhere. It's silly to think otherwise. Just enjoy it and go.

But ya know, it was good, lots of it. Matt, Li, Kimi, Yuuko, Alema, Tonks, Quatre, Kyoko, even bantering with Shinon and the crazy scientist ego guy and that weirdo Gaston...who knew there were so many ways to describe crazy? Crazy just means out of element, and that just means I'm crazy too. Well fine. I'm seventeen, a little taller and annoyingly a little wiser too. It's about all I need. I didn't need to stay by a game console, lost in fake worlds when there is so many real weird ones out there.

And I intend to see them, and write about them. A long ass book, and when I'm done you're all getting a damn copy whether you like it or not (yes, you TOO, Shadow, because even you can use a good dose of laughing material before you go to bed). Because we all shared this weird ass existence for at least a little while, and it let me know something for certain: no world is home for people that see possibilities. They're everywhere, in everything and all over everyone. If you forget that, fine, you're apt. It happens. But hopefully you'll get the book and remember, if only for a little while, that life goes on in pockets and time is the only illusion that attempts to keep it together.

( To Keiji )

Ok, so its not bad enough the stupid Entropi are having their little skirmish, but now for some reason I have no powers. At least, that was the initial theory, but considering what I've been reading, its pretty obvious.

Powers have transformed from different people, that's pretty obvious. So now we have to figure it who is who. I don't know what powers I have, and for some reason I can't understand, I want to fight crime. Hopefully that feeling will pass. There's too much that has to be done. I'm going to have to go check on Quatre: I haven't seen him in days and no one else has asked about him either. So much for your friends, not that it matters at this point.

Keiji. You get any powers?

Uh, Quatre?

I haven't heard from you in awhile. Are you OK?

Quatre. I wanna talk to you. In person.

Where can we meet?

K..can't believe I managed to bang this out. Good. Yeah.

Uh, if anybody needs help, I'm in the cemetery. Kinda banged up, but I think I'll live. I wanna know if anyone needs help. Keiji? Skuld? Alema? Quatre? Selphie?

You guys o...

[Cuts out as a bolt creates a very loud sound, and an audible grunt is heard. Gaz's voice returns, only a little weaker sounding]

Ow, pressure on the barrier is a bitch...damn it...

So here is how I look at stuff. I'm a fairly rebellious girl: I don't like idiots telling me what to do, or trying to shower me with their moral high ground. I'm a Dark person by nature, and that means that I don't get to put on airs about who I am. So in all the time I've been here, I've seen several attempts to get some kind of half assed law enforcement going, pretty much all failing, which is pretty much inevitable. But through all the names of these groups, Bonfire and then a new one, the Alliance, there came a certain purpose: to protect those that have been attacked, to help victims cope, that sort of stuff.

Well now we come across Harth Fray. Yeah, the vamp that goes around causing trouble and torturing, but who no one crosses because his sister is a big, scary slayer (yeah, I keep up). Now this vamp is dead, and the alliance, who pretty much has little to no involvement, wants to know how we proceed with Heero, the guy who supposedly takes responsibility for Harth's death. Seem a little strange? It is. Now I've heard BS conversations that the Alliance wants to decide everyone's fate. Stupid uninformed people think this and immediately say, "The Alliance does not stand for ME!" Never mind Heero accepted responsibility first. No, its pretty simple why the Alliance wants to "Pass judgement" on Heero: he's a part of them, and they don't want the Alliance coming across as crazy vigilantes.

Which people who know nothing about the Alliance will think. The problem is that Alliance people are so scared about it that they want to be fair. I say fuck that. Harth and people like him aren't going to play fair, and they're counting on your guilty consciences to make things worse. I mean, come on, before you imprisoned that Joker guy, did you even hear what he was talking about? He wants to bring out the worse in you guys, and he really doesn't need to do much! You're so eager to please a shitty system you'll judge one of your own, or try to listen to people who want "justice" for "Harth." The hell with that! Harth was a bastard and if he's dead, he didn't die like a victim.

Yeah, I said it, IF he's dead. Think about it.

My plea (yeah, whatever, I'm hoping) is that you guys aren't stupidly buying into the "alliance=law" crap, and that you Alliance guys aren't going to disavow your standards just because people here are skiddish at the mention of a group of people wanting justice. Chances are, these guys haven't bothered to even do anything worthwhile. Seek the truth. That is what's needed now.

Yeah, and to you guys that think Harth was innocently killed? The hell with you.

Meh. Seen worse.

The fish is spoiled now, so I guess I can't cook it. Hmm. Think I'll dry it and hang it outside my door as a Christmas decoration then.

Not buried anymore.

Which mean I have a few people on my shitlist. I don't believe in staying a victim for very long., if at all. But now that this little bit of amusement for folk is done, do yourselves a favor and tell me you did it so I can go after you properly. If I have to actually find out who you are, I'm going to be very irritated and VERY violent.

To Quare and Trowa...thanks guys. Glad you found me. I'm still mostly mortal like everybody else around here, and it meant a lot you searched for me. I'm not Miss popular around here like all those other guys, so that does wonders for a lttle girl's faith in this dump. Keiji...uh, thanks for showing concern.

JOKER. I know you were one of them. I wanna talk to you.

So I just got, like, gifts. I know they're not from Keiji, I just grilled him a second ago. But they're pretty sweet, so I'm putting the comforter on the bed.

[Shuffling and straightening]

NICE.

Plus, I'll be going outside soon. The hat and gives are gonna be pretty neat to wear. I don't get too cold, so who am I to say no to gifts like that?

Huh. Snow. Haven't seen it in a little while.

Keiji? Wanna go out and play in the snow?

Yeah, that's what it seems like I've been doing lately. So sue me. The last scare wasn't anything I was prepared for. I don't favor seeing one of few people I have left dying in front of me. So I decided to stay indoors for a little while. Play some video games, shit like that. It was stuff I never had to talk about before because I had a roomie who did the same thing, but now Matt is gone. To top it off, Mercury is gone too, and just because she and I didn't talk much didn't mean we lacked respect. So I gotta deal with one other person leaving. Suckage.

But whatever. There's been too many people that have disappeared at this point for me to get too involved now. Keiji is still here, and truthfully, he's kinda my rock.

And anyway, there's still this current situation to think about, not to mention all of the shit that has been going on with broken items, amnesia, and certain people running around all vigilante style with guns. Really, we just all went through what we thought was our deaths and THIS is how we decide to act afterward? I can't even describe how little I'm thinking of this "training facility" right now. Mind games apparently are more important than staying alive.

I'm beginning to wonder if my world is so bad after all in comparison with this mess. Whats the point of trying to keep some semblance of order when people prefer chaos all the damn time.

It's not that easy.

I see. There is so much more going on. We have no idea. Bet you expect us to be happy the cuffs are off, but I'm not stupid. The Warden is blitzing now. And I bet you think most of us are going to ignore it. Well, maybe they will, but I won't.

You showed me the LAST bit of hell, you bastards. I'll show you. I know when there's a collar around my throat, don't think losing the cuffs will dull me to that. I'm not groggy.

So the Keepers found us. That's it, right? Warden wouldn't be out of commission unless the situation was dire. Well, I call seeing my death pretty dire. OK. So you're powerful.

Only a matter of time.

Ohh! Oh no! Something is COMING!!! I feel it in me bones!!!

Column A: Like, OMG, you r ttly rite! Break out the guns! I dun wanna die!

Column B: Rrrgh, fuck all that premonition crap! I'll believe it when I see it even though I've never seen any of the other Econtra potions and stuff!



Yeah, to reiterate: a little of both never hurt anyone. So, let's stop whining over paying too much or paying too little attention and prep just in case, k?

Oh, and news flash: telling someone to shut up about it? Will make them talk MORE.

Keiji?


You're still here, aren't you?

So yeah, I guess I'm out of my funk or whatever. If you can call it that. In any case, I'm not going to mope anymore. My roomie is gone (AGAIN) as are all of my other friends that I've known for a long time. Oh, and I haven't heard from either of my brothers or Zim, so it looks like I'm the only one from my world again. I think I should start getting used to the fact that I'm not crazy enough to be sent back as I'm the sanest person in my world.

Damn, that's a frightening thought.

Keiji. Let's go on that picnic. Invite whoever you like. What do you say?

This letter. It's weird, I just found it, lie I was somehow supposed to. But seriously, where is Matt's stuff? Is she staying over at Mello's again? That's weird. Not staying over, of course, she always does that, but she never takes all of her stuff.

Unless...wait a minute. It's kinda weird that I just found this note. It's...fuck. It isn't a coincidence, there are no coincidences, only Hituz...

Fuck. No. NO! COME ON!!! Wasn't Yuuko and Tonks and Kim enough?! Did you have to take her too?! She's my best friend!


SHE'S MY BEST FRIEND, YOU BASTARDS!!!

Well...we made it, Keiji. I didn't know if it were going to be the two of us out, or maybe just one or both, but we're still alive. Glad we were ale to at least get out with a few other people, but I never thought they'd stay to punish the keepers for all they've done. But you know me Keiji, I'm not staying here. You know what I'm doing next.

Yeah. Yuuko.

You know, this is the part where I should be a loner and tell you to go. Ordinarily, before all of this, I totally would have. But now, I think some things are a little more important. I want to see Yuuko, I want to grant her wish, and let her live her own life. I've seen Econtra and my own world: I wouldn't mind learning new things in someone else s world, broaden my mind. But until I make that swap, you can follow me. You'll know what the end result will be, and if you still stay with me...then it shouldn't surprise you to know I'll love you until I'm dead.

Now come on. You and I have worlds to travel to.

[[OOC: Gaz's hope: she and Keiji survive Econtra and go off to find Yuuko and grant her wish.]]

Well, looks like I'm not escaping this shit. That's annoying.

K. I might have a bit of a crush on Kyoko. I mean, come on. She's sweet, she's earnest, she can play a mean guitar. Any guy or girl who doesn't have their head up their ass would go for her. So whatever. I'll say it. In any case, she's all about Haruhi. So whatever.

Oh, and if I'd do anyone besides Keiji (though I HATE that expression, DO anyone, yuck) it would most likely be Matt. Because, you know, the day after we'd be playing video games not talking to each other and it'd be totally fine.

Oh, and I miss Yuuko, my brothers and Zim are still stupid, and I still hate where I grew up.

Hm. My secrets were kinda gay. Oh well.

Sensei.

You are gone, but you are not gone. I feel like crap that you disappeared. I should have visited you more, I should have listened more. There are a lot of things that I wish I could have done different, had I known that you'd be gone from here. I thought this crappy place would keep you forever, knowing what you were capable of. This machine has no feelings though, so I can't expect that.


I have a confession for you, wherever you are, I hope you hear it. It's something I've quietly kept in my heart, even before I mellowed out and stopped hating everything and everyone. It's a confession I can make to you now, here, and wherever you are, I hope you hear it. One day I'll transverse the worlds myself, and I'll find you, and tell you if you never heard it.

I wanted to free you Sensei. You've been a teacher to me, and you anchored me with Kimi when you saw my potential. You've done more for me than even dad did, spent time with a girl you hardly knew, even if it was without pity. In return, I hoped the day would come that I made me final wish: to exchange my spot with yours, so you could feel free to stay in the world you chose, and let me manage the shop on my own. I would learn to be the way you were, but I wouldn't let that pain you'd have stay with you: I'd take that too. I don't feel like this body is so much more important than yours. I'm not a martyr, or even saying that I don't love my life: I do. What I'm saying is that without you, I wouldn't have seen the beautiful things in it, and appreciate it now. Even so, if it meant letting you walk freely, unburdened, I would have done it. I still would.

I don't have a mother. For someone like me, I guess I've long since outgrown the need for them. I don't cry over that at night or anything: I deal. It's what I've always done. But I'm not afraid to tell you that you came the closest Sensei, and I know Kimi felt the same way. I love you, and I always will, no matter what happens in this cesspool of a place, even if it comes crashing around me and takes everything I've ever loved. I'm not stuck in the illusion that any of this is permanent, you know that isn't in my nature. I deal with what I have and go forward with unblinking eyes.

I won't mourn you, because you're not dead. In a way, it would be wrong to do that. I could with Kimi because she needed it in a way. You know I'll miss you deeper than anyone who's ever disappeared here. But you started a change in me, and I won't simply roll over and die because you're gone. If I did that, what would all you had done been for?

I'll always remember you every time I notice how much more I've changed, every time I see long black hair and think of my teacher, my friend, my mother figure. One day, I'll see you again, and I'll tell you all of this. Hopefully a fawning little girl won't embarrass you as much. But when I see you, I'll make the wish. I'll unbind you myself.

That alone is a reason to keep on living.

Well that was a pain in the ass. So that's what I would have been like if I hadn't come here? Jeez. Well, not that it was completely a bad thing, although I did wind up sounding like a major ass hat. So I guess I have to go apologize to people and stuff. Damn it. I hate apologizing.

Yo, Matt. Are you all right? Are you OK Keiji? I've missed you.